Listening and Respecting

June 19, 2011

Listening and Respecting

"Look simple common sense but great truths which need to be followed by every leader. Unfortunately these are not followed by many leaders – those who follow them are respected as great leaders by their followers. The ratio about ears and mouth most of them are reversed. Many leaders feel that their job is to talk and that of the followers is to listen and act on them. They do follow but their hearts are not in it. I shared in one of the learning even for senior managers from a manufacturing company in India that they need to engage the brain and heart of their followers – not just their hands and legs. By ‘listening’ we engage their brain and by ‘respecting’ we engage their heart ! How simple and true !...and we can achieve significant results with whole-person involvement".

This is a response posted in "How We Lead" conversations with Ken Blanchard for his ideas on Two Simple Truths for Effective Leadership (June 18, 2011 in Leadership, Listening, Respect | by Ken)which is reproduced below:

People sometimes have a strange idea about what it means to be a leader, regardless of their field. Some merely “pose” as leaders because they are unsure how to lead effectively. Others may consider themselves to be naturally good leaders simply by virtue of their title or position, such as mother, store manager or lieutenant. To compound the problem, these people usually assume that everyone else also believes them to be good leaders merely because of their rank or title. The result can be insensitivity and a lack of consideration for those being supervised. Such an attitude can be death for any constructive leadership attempt. Following are two characteristics of a good leader or manager that illustrate this theory:

First, consider the act of listening. God gave us two ears and one mouth. This ratio of personal communication instruments should give us a clue about the proportion of time that each should be used! The hallmark of a good leader is the ability to listen to others, no matter what they want to say. It’s amazing how often this simple truth still mystifies leaders who think that their position means they should talk first and ask questions later, if ever. Many leaders forget how to be humble and recognize that they don’t know everything. In reality, they often have a great deal to learn about those they supervise as well as the job those people are doing. For some reason, they confuse their job title with some sort of overall expertise, which makes them overbearing and foolish in the eyes of their subordinates.

A second point concerns respect. I personally think it is a very important point to remember. Specifically, managers should treat those closest to them as though they were strangers. Let me explain that statement. Because we have people in our lives with whom we become very familiar, either at the workplace or at home, it is very easy to slip into a rather casual attitude toward these people who know us best. The result is sometimes an outward appearance of a lack of respect or love, expressed by how we speak or behave. When we are upset, busy or unhappy, it is very easy for us to snap at those closest to us. We may shout or become nasty or insulting simply because someone is nearby. However, if the telephone rings with a stranger on the line, we can immediately switch to a sweet, kind and considerate persona. Why? Because we would never insult a stranger with our surly attitude. This just doesn’t make sense. Why should you abuse your colleague, close friend, or child just because that person is nearby when a bad mood strikes? The answer is: You shouldn’t. Don’t beat up people emotionally just because you know they’re familiar with your mood swings.

Remember, the people you are closest to, at work and at home, deserve to be listened to and respected. Do you lead this way? Does your boss?

Achievement Orientation

"The Strength Of A Country's Economy Linked To The Intelligence Of Its People" - Comment in the LinkedIn Group: National Academy of Psychology (NAOP), India

Senthil:

I feel that it is is not just intelligence. Is there a dearth of intelligence in our country? I feel the strength of a country's economy is significantly linked to the presence of 'achievement orientation present among its people.

In continuation, I would like to add that as behavioural scientists we have not given much importance to the great work done by David Mclleland who has done lot of work relating need to achievement to country's economic status. His work published in Achieving Society (1961) indicates how the presence of need for achievement is correlated to the country's economic development. His subsequent work on entrepreneurial orientation prescribes a solution to country's development. he has taken psychology out of the couch and the lab and spread it to the macro level. If I am not wrong he must be the first psychologist to do so ( If anyone knows about other psychologists who have done so, pl do share the details). In India once his work formed the basis of many initiative - noticeable among them are the Institutes of entrepreneurship developments at Delhi (NIESBUD) and at Ahmadebad (EDI) which were involved in the promotion of entrepreneurship wherein developing achievement motivation is an integral part. Both of them have great success stories in promoting economic initiatives through developing entrepreneurship throughout the country including the rural areas. I was associated with one such collaboration between the Department of Psychology and the Small Industries Service Institute of the Ministry of Industries (Now MSME), Govt of India wherein many rural youth were transformed into entrepreneurs.

On 'Self' and Psychology

"Best Psychology is learnt by simply looking deep within one-self. Psychology can help totally transform one's life !!" Commented Ms Neema in the Linkedin Group: National Academy of Psychology (NAOP,India.

Senthil's Comments:

"Fully agree. That's what psychology is meant to accomplish !!"

Ravi Bhushan:

"Interesting observation,Neema.Honest introspective self-reflection leads to growth of conscious self awareness.That's what it takes to understand and being able to empathize with another.Thereafter one is naturally predisposed to help.

Question is do we find the time to connect with ourselves.Is it not a part of defensive escape to remain preoccupied with the affairs of others?"

Senthil :

"The issue is we do not "Want" to find time to get connected with ourself. It needs lot of courage to see within and accept what we see inside. Greatness comes from within, the connectedness one has with his/her 'self'. Religion (not the one we see now -, but the real religion or spirituality) does it in one way, psychology does it in a different way. both have lot of commonality. But psychology is more 'in-the-world' approach with its empirical methods. The T groups, sensitivity training...etc focus more on this aspect - helping people to get in touch with themselves and also to see the impact their 'self' on others. There are many other approaches in psychology which goes much beyond that. ... "


Ravi Bhushan:

I appreciate Senthil for re-orienting this essential discussion to place it on a more psychological platform.In such issues it is easy to get swayed into unfamiliar philosophically spiritual realms.
Humanistic and existentially disposed psychologists like Rollo May & Fromm have built a rich foundation of theoretical concepts to help gain insight into the human condition.The purpose of learning then would not be a 'best psychology',as stated by the fairly perceptive discussion initiator, but a much broader one.The personally meningful goal then becomes 'to help oneself and others to realise their full human potential.'

Sweetie Jain:

I agree with Mr. Senthil as we don't want to find time to get connected with ourself...but thats not always true now a days..as people are opting for lots of ways to connect with themselves and find peace withing such as thru meditation...but yes Psychology is a subject with also helps to find the barriers and contamination within which hinders to reach one's peace and goal in life...karma is the ultimate of peace and reaching of goal

On Elections in Tamilnadu - 2011

On April 12 in Facebook

Completed facilitating learning in 6 courses in LIBA and IIT Chennai - each batch is unique in nits own way and really challenging - Rest till elections are over followed by Tamil New Years Day (the real one)....Declared holiday for office too - books, movies, in between voting, if someone has not already voted for me....!

on April 13 (Election day) in Facebook

Would like to vote for the Election Commission. But since it is not contesting will be voting for the next best...and searching for that one....somewhere he/she will be there in the list of candidates..!!

On April 14 in Facebook

In the Elections conducted in Tamil Nadu, the Election Commission emerged as the Winner with more than two-third majority. Political parties lost heavily, losing their deposit in many constituencies. The change has really come...Thanks and congrats to all the Officers of the Election Commission who have won the heart and minds of the people.

On Anna Hazare's Fast Against Corruption

April 7 in Facebook

Some light to kindle our collective consciousness
Some sparks to fire our deepest desire for a better India
Some ignition to show that we care ...
Someone is there to show us that the spirit is still alive...
May He Lives longer to see what He is fighting for...!

On April 10 in Facebook

"In a gentle way, you can shake up the world", said Gandhiji. Thanks Annaji, You have proved that Gandhian ideas are still valid, relevant and can achieve good results. You have really shaken atleast India. You will be remembered. May the Annaji tribe flourish in all the States.


On April 11 in Facebook

Just wondering. With all the talk of gender, women's rights, empowerment, inclusiveness...etc why the civil society has not nominated a women on its side to the drafting committee. If not Kiran Bedi, there could be many...But I keep wondering.... All this talk of gender... is it only for uplifting women in the rural areas and to run some seminars...Just wondering

Number of Competencies in Orgainizations

Is there a competency magic number?

I am currently working with my company developing leaders based on 16 separate competencies. This seems like too much. How many would be "right"? I believe I can pair it down to eight, but would this be prudent? Is there a magic number? (asked Sarah in the LinkedIn Group SIOP-The Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology).

Senthil Athiban's Response

In my opinion, there is no magic number. It depends upon the role one is expected to play in an organization and the nature of the organization. Clear role analysis will indicate what competencies are required for a particular role. Having said that, I would like to add that it si better if the number of competencies are kept at a minimum number of five to eight. These need to be mutually exclusive competencies without much overlapping and with clear definitions. This will help the role holder to know what exactly he/she must have or develop for role effectiveness. During performance reviews also the reviewer will find it easy to review the performance in the backdrop of competencies. But clear understanding of the concept "competency", in contrast to qualities, attitudes, aptitudes etc is a must while going for competency mapping. Inclusion of behavioural indicators for each competencies required is also a must.

Stuart Tan on Senthil Athiban

@Senthil, I think you nailed it. *Mutually exclusive* competencies is a good way to define it. Those 30+ that I saw (in an organization I had worked with) had overlapping competencies in different areas. Unfortunately, I they don't have the means to test the validity of those competencies. This means that while the employees are busy trying to up their KSAs in the competency area, there's really no one tracking transfer effects back to organizational results. So... @Thuy Hoang, I'd agree to point - the essential ones need then to be justified on the assumption that they are more significant to the job performance than others.

Styles of Leading - Posting at LikedIn

I am eager to know which leadership style is better Authoritative or Participative ? Can you please enlighten me by your valuable comments ? Asked, Gambhir

The issue is not to find which leadership style is better or best. It is to find out which one is "appropriate". The leadership style which gives 'good results' in the short term and creates an 'impact' in the long run is the "appropriate style". Hence modern day leaders need to be capable of using various styles in the continuum of authoritative (directive) to coaching to participative to delegative styles depending upon his/her followers' (team members) capability & commitment levels and situational factors. Blanchard's model of situational leadership (explained in the treatise 'Management of Organizational Behaviour and in "Leadership and the One Minute Manager" -for those who need a short and sweet version) helps in understanding and using appropriate style of leadership for more effectiveness.